When your best teacher friend leaves

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by kellzy, Mar 14, 2019.

  1. kellzy

    kellzy Comrade

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    Mar 14, 2019

    How do you cope? My teacher best friend is retiring this year, and likely moving to another area of our state to be closer to her grandchildren. I'm happy and excited for her, but I cried for over an hour tonight. I'm not sure I know how to teach without her across the hall from me. She's my security blanket. My teacher best friend and my work wife (or work mother, whatever, she's old enough to be my mom).
    Has your teacher best friend ever left for whatever reason? What do you do? How do you come back? Needing coping mechanisms. Give them to me.
     
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  3. vickilyn

    vickilyn Guru

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    Mar 14, 2019

    Reach out and offer help and kindness to someone who is where you were when you met that best friend. She showed you how to be a support and safe haven for someone with less experience. Honor your best friend by passing on the lessons you have had the time to learn. Trust me, it will ease the pain and honor your friend.
     
  4. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    Mar 14, 2019

    This happened to me last school year. My teacher BFF wasn't even really looking at other positions, but something fell in her lap that offered her an almost $15,000 raise. She had an additional part time job at the time and was able to drop the second job. Of course it totally made sense for her to take the new position.

    We do thankfully still hang out outside of school, but I do miss having her in my building. It's honestly still not the same. I have gotten closer with one of my teammates and tried to spend more time with newer teachers in the building, like the pp was suggesting, although I haven't really built the same type of relationship with any of them. However, there are new teachers every year, and maybe someone new will come along next year that I just really click with. I'd focus on being extra welcoming to this teacher's replacement and any other new people in your building. Maybe you'll become the mentor to them that this person was for you.
     
  5. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    Mar 15, 2019

    It’s happened to me a couple of times because of maternity leave. It may seem difficult to foresee coping but you will. Somehow you adjust because you have to. You form stronger bonds with other colleagues you didn’t consider to be work wives or husbands with prior to this. It could be a positive thing professionally.
     
  6. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 16, 2019

    My bff will be retiring either next year or the year after. I hate thinking about it. However, I’m very involved in my union, on school and regional committees, coach and mentor newbies, teach some PD classes.
    Get busy...find some ‘extra’ things at school to engage you. It won’t be the same, but it will be ok. Hugs.
     
  7. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Mar 16, 2019

    I have multiple teacher BFF’s at my school and so if one were to leave their departure would be mitigated by those who remain. However, I would still be gutted nonetheless. Goodbyes are never easy... Take care.
     
  8. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Mar 17, 2019 at 10:19 AM

    I was the one who left after 24 years.
    We were all miserable under new admin.
    No one would listen and we began the year domino of teachers and students leaving.
    It's 4 years later and sadly the district is near shutdown now,
    We have fbook messenger and meet up from time to time.
    But teaching is not the same.
     
  9. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Mar 17, 2019 at 1:53 PM

    I’m assuming it was district office administrators that made everyone leave? New super?
     
  10. skyline

    skyline Rookie

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    Mar 17, 2019 at 3:46 PM

    (((Hugs))) Sorry to hear you're experiencing the loss of your BFF working across the hall!

    I used to substitute teach at a small school all the time for years. I became friends with a few of the teachers there. They made me feel welcome and supported. Currently, I went back to college to get licensed to teach primary aged students. It's been very lonely. Because my placement has not been a good one, I've been missing them a little more.
     
  11. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Mar 18, 2019 at 8:01 AM

    Small district so superintendent was officed in the building. Both veteran and community principals left after one year under her and she hired two like her. They began the year by wiping the slate clean...and I mean clean...and ran it all their way. Handbooks, curriculum, office, everything. They changed from semesters to tri, dress codes, prom, recess, you name it. In a small town it caused havoc on their traditions. It was nuts. Some/most was a very good idea but not all at once and needed to be sold to the community as relevant. Teachers quit mid year. Students left mid year. Sad. They are now trying to change it back but damage is done. Trust is lost.
     
  12. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Mar 18, 2019 at 9:51 AM

    Wow. This is so sad...

    What I love that my private school does is the CEO, P, and three VP’s will first give a survey to staff and have all-staff meetings to discuss new school policies and see what we think *first*. This is so important. They do not implement new policies unilaterally and then see what their impact will be. There is a trial period first.

    It boggles my mind that they would just change everything without thinking about how it will affect the community.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2019 at 3:08 PM
  13. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Mar 18, 2019 at 1:12 PM

    I think since they did not come from small town America, they do not understand small town America. Everyone literary knows everyone...for generations. And tradition is TRADITION. Change is difficult.
     
    futuremathsprof likes this.

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