The way children speak to teachers is disgusting, do you agree?

Discussion in 'Third Grade' started by Missturner, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Jul 1, 2018

    Wow. What an interesting read.

    I'm switching from 7th grade (4 years in it) to 3rd this upcoming school year. I have previously taught 4th.

    For 7th graders, you cannot have "unrestricted" bathroom access. My first year in 7th grade, I allowed one child out to the restroom at a time for bathroom. It became like a conga line, to the point where the principal told the 7th grade teachers to come up with a way to stop the constant bathroom flow (flow ;), sorry couldn't help myself). So, we gave each kid 10 passes per 9 weeks to be used during class time in any of their four core classes. The only restriction for use in class was that it could not be used during direct instruction (group work, independent work, projects, warm ups, etc. were okay---which accounts for about 70% of the class time). Passes not used were entered into a drawing for prizes. It's amazing how suddenly the need to pee in class dropped by about 95%. I suppose there is one person who reads this who is going to ask "What is they used them all up?" That only happened a few times. What I did then, was pull the kid out in the hall. I told the student, I'm going to do you a favor, gave the kid a legitimate errand to run, and winked at them and said "don't let it happen again." It didn't happen again. For students with documented medical issues, they were exempt, and someone who was going to throw up or poop themselves, I wrote them a note to the nurse and told them to use the bathroom along the way.

    For elementary kids, however, I don't think such measures are necessary. In my experience with 8/9 year olds, they don't really have the cognitive ability to manipulate the teacher for the whole "let me pretend I have to pee so I can get out of class" thing. I might be wrong, though.

    As for this particular situation, I just can't imagine having a student speak to me that way. I have always been told 7th grade is the "trenches" as far as behavior/back talk, and with the 400 or so 7th graders I have taught, NONE have ever spoken to me that way. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I have been disrespected by a 13 year old.

    I think you might want to re-evaluate the atmosphere you create with this new group of students you teach. Have your rules and expectations, but be compassionate as well. For the lower grades, if you somehow have 8 year olds who abuse the bathroom, why not think of a way around that rewards the kids for valuing your class time?
     
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  2. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Devotee

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    Jul 2, 2018

    You'd be surprised. I've had preschoolers do this during naptime just so they can get up from their cots. The first couple times, we take them to the bathroom, where they would stand around and not go. So we stop letting them go during naptime, especially since we go right before they lay down. Never had accidents from kids who claimed they had to go!
    There's always a couple kids every year do this.
     
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  3. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Jul 2, 2018

    My two-year-old recently got a documented medical issue and apparently many 504s for her issue DO include unrestricted bathroom use (which does fit).

    However, if she is as big a stinker in 7th grade as she is now, I totally see her taking advantage of that...
     
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  4. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Jul 2, 2018

    So, the subject of when to allow students to go to the potty can be an ongoing issue for many teachers from preschool through high school. Do you think this is a problem for teachers worldwide?
     
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  5. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Jul 2, 2018

    Dear OP,
    Yes, we as a people are raising children who do not use civility in their language, as well as in their tone.
    For me, I don't have students who speak to me disrespectfully, but if I had encountered your students as you described, I may have elected to separate the disrespect from the actual behavior. Student one doesn't want to write his name and date. He/she is also disrespectful to you. What may have happened if you had instead said softly, "You need to check your tone and your words. I'll continue with the rest of the class and check back on you. I feel certain you will have written the required information by then." You disarm them with a soft answer, you show that it is not a battle royale item, and you give them a chance to get it together. With the young child, you've received a large amount of advice. However, the request to go to the restroom is not a wrong request. Possibly you need a better policy under the guidance of your school's overall policy. What do your co-teachers do at your school. As to the crude language, you could invite her to remain after class for a minute and help her to consider some alternative statements that are more acceptable.
    Sometimes, when we let things get very big, we miss the chance to show grace, kindness, civility and forgiveness. Not everyone has parents that model those things. Not everyone has a home where manners are held in high regard. While not in your curriculum per se, you have the opportunity to model those things to someone who may well be helping me in the waning years of my life in an assisted living facility as I wear diapers for having ruined my bladder as a teacher. I'd love to know that they learned kindness from you. :) My future self thanks you now.
     
  6. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Jul 3, 2018

    I really like the last post about modeling kindness. I am quite confident that the reason I have taught 400 7th graders and experienced disrespect only as high as I can count with one hand (while the same kids outright disrespected the teacher across the hall) is because of the rapport/relationships I build with my students. The statement that should govern your interactions with your students is "diffuse and disarm,"---in other words don't escalate the problem and remain calm, kind, and in control of your emotions (and tongue). In general, would you agree, that it is REALLY hard to be hateful and rude to someone who clearly and consistently cares about you, is being kind to you, and is looking out for your best interests? The answer is yes, and it works with the kids we teach as well.
     
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  7. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Jul 4, 2018

    Interesting how posts dealing with disgusting student behavior are noticeably devoid of the term "kiddos" - just an observation. :rolleyes:
     
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  8. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Jul 4, 2018

    Too right you are. They’re anything but.
     
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  9. Teacher234

    Teacher234 Cohort

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    Sep 2, 2018

    have seen the bathroom policy argument repeatedly on this website. would like to share mine. When a student needs to use the bathroom, they are told to ask (or gesture) to the teacher who is not busy. Depending on the student, my aide and myself may or may not take them to the bathroom (it depends on if the student can go by themselves)
     

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