Social Life during Week

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by fairfax, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 10, 2007

    I have a book club that gets together every other week for dinner, wine, and conversation that often lasts 2+ hours.

    I plan to go... but then the day rolls around and I just feel so tired, stressed and worn out that I don't wish to go do anything but relax and/or exercise.

    I do get out on weekends, but wonder if I ought to push myself to do these weeknight dinners?

    The only reason I would go tonight is because I feel guilty for not going the last several times.

    I might also note that 2/3 of this group has gotten engaged, married, gotten pregnant, or had a baby in the last year. Others are already married at least. I can't even think of the last date I had...... so I feel like that might be part of why I don't feel like going tonight to celebrate another engagement.... they briefly discuss that they need/want to set me up, but so far nothing has happened with that. Not to be mopey, but I just feel so.... unaccomplished with this group (in the marriage/baby area).

    Am I being a party pooper? Do you guys make a point to do things with friends during the week?
     
  2.  
  3. Learner4Life

    Learner4Life Cohort

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Messages:
    720
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 10, 2007

    I would love to have a social life during the week but unfortunately, most of my friends went straight on to grad school or have strangly houred jobs, so hanging out with them during the week is impossible unless I stay out until 11-12 at night and frankly I want to be in bed at that time (my boyfriend says I'm old because of it). I completely understand if you're tired after work and feel as though your unaccomplished with this group. Imagine, you feel young and unaccomplished with your group and I feel OLD and boring with my group. I do believe that it's important to have a social life outside of school and once a week isn't too severe. Maybe go and see if you can't get out before 2+ hours???
     
  4. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Oct 10, 2007

    It is normal for there to be some mixed feelings as we pass through stages of life at different times than our friends. You are just at a different stage, you are not unaccomplished, and they might be envying you because you seem carefree and single! Try to appreciate your strengths and the stage of life you are in. Otherwise you will always be short changing yourself. It is not you - it is just the stage you are in.

    Maybe there is a different group you could socialize with that has more single people? Maybe a church single group, or a different book club? Or maybe you should try just getting together with these friends one-on-one. Newly married/engaged/new parents - we do tend to be kinda on a one track, especially with the baby thing.

    I advise you to build some socializing into your work week in the way that makes you feel fulfilled. If you decide to take a break from the book club, don't make a big deal out of it. Just let them know you are going to have to take a break. Hope this helps.
     
  5. glenn

    glenn Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2005
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 10, 2007

    If guilt is the only reason you are going to this group it is time to find a new group to socialize with. If just to relax or exercise after a long stressful day is what makes you feel better that is what you should do. Maybe join a gym and start going after work. Sign up for a yoga or pilates class or just talking to people maybe you could find someone to socialize with as you work out together.
     
  6. love2teach

    love2teach Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    2,042
    Likes Received:
    1

    Oct 10, 2007

    I totally understand!!! I find that I have to push myself to go out during the week. I really don't like to, but if something comes up that won't be too late, I try to take advangate! My book club meets during the week as well. The last few have run kinda late...but those were over the summer, I am hoping that since there are some other teachers in my group and some Moms that this one won't be too bad! You can always feel free to step out early...just say that you have a big day ahead of you and need to get going.
    Every other week for a book club sounds like a lot!! Do you have a new book each time you meet?!

    As for other things to do, try things that interest you! I joined a gym and took a class....its nice to get out and talk to others...even find a friend!

    Bottom line, if you dont like the book club, don't go......and dont feel bad that you are the only one that is not married or having kids....its perfectly fine to be in a different stage of life!
     
  7. Steph-ernie

    Steph-ernie Groupie

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2002
    Messages:
    1,299
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 10, 2007

    I have a hard time getting out to do anything in the evenings after work. Last night I was in bed at 9:00! I felt so old and pathetic! I graduated from college just 3 years ago, and back then, never would have dreamed of going to bed at 9:00! Boy have things changed. I have a Bible Study that I go to on Monday evenings, and sometimes, I really don't want to go, but I'm usually glad that I did. Other than that, I really don't do too much during the week. Sometimes things will come up, but nothing regular for me. Weekends are my time to play.
     
  8. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Oct 11, 2007

    Social life? What social life??

    I am married, have a house, a job and 3 kids (ages 4-8). I don't have a weekend OR weekday social life on a regular basis. And I miss it!

    I am actually heading out for a couple of drinks with a couple of mom friends tonight, and it'll be my first time out without kids (with or without hubby) since my birthday, August 30.

    And I, too, am in bed by 9:00 most nights - even weekends.
    Kim
     

Share This Page

test