Please keep me in your prayers. I'm heartbroken and alone.

Discussion in 'Prayer Request Forum' started by pinkcupcake90, Feb 27, 2017.

  1. pinkcupcake90

    pinkcupcake90 Companion

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    Feb 27, 2017

    My world seemed perfect until January came and I returned from Christmas break. Two of my students informed me that one of my kids from last year was killed by gang violence. My best friend called the same day and said her mother was losing a battle with cancer.

    I missed a day of school, cried it all out, sought therapy, and went back to work dressed up like Caesar and ready to have my sophomores stab me with lollipops.

    February rolled around, and right before Valentine's Day, my friend's mother passed away. I missed work again because of my anxiety attacks. I attended the funeral, cried it all out, sought therapy, sought counseling from friends, and went back to school on Valentine's Day with treats for my kids and dressed in red and pink.

    On February 18, after a wonderful week at school with my kids and with the amazing staff at my school, my pet cat, my rock, my baby boy who was my only source of light in my traumatic household, passed away suddenly. I don't know what happened. He wasn't sick. And as if my heart couldn't get any more broken, here I am.

    I've become very depressed. I spend my nights, mornings, and time in between classes just crying. I have nobody to lean on for support. Nobody cares about what's been going on. My friends kind of ditched me. My family stopped caring after a week went by.

    I plan on doing an intensive outpatient program after school. It sounds silly, but at this rate, I have no friends or family to help me during this difficult time.

    I missed another day of work last week. Even today, I came in without any prep or lesson plan. My kids just worked on the chrome books.

    Every time one of my kids asks me what's wrong, I change the subject so I don't start bawling. I don't know if anybody knows what I'm going through or if anyone cares, but I feel like I'm dying. I don't know what to do to make this pain go away.
     
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  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Maven

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    Feb 27, 2017

    Seriously, I think you need to get enrolled in an inpatient therapy program that can get your meds adjusted and teach you how to handle things that come up in your life. I worry about you.
     
    a2z, Obadiah, yellowdaisies and 2 others like this.
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Feb 27, 2017

    If you can't function, then you need to consider inpatient treatment. If you're thinking about hurting yourself, you need to go to the ER or call 911.
     
  5. pinkcupcake90

    pinkcupcake90 Companion

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    Feb 27, 2017

    I'm not going to self-harm. I just need prayers.
     
  6. Obadiah

    Obadiah Cohort

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    Feb 28, 2017

    I will be praying for you. And there is nothing wrong with seeking outside help (in or out-patient would depend on which works best for you in your situation). You have experienced trauma and you need assistance. There's nothing wrong if others see you cry, either, including the students. We all cry at times; it's the way our body is designed to heal.
     
    pinkcupcake90 likes this.
  7. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Feb 28, 2017

    I agree with some of the others that you might need inpatient help (I don't know you well enough to say definitively). Prayer sometimes leads to some tough decisions made easier. Think on that.
     
  8. newbieeducator

    newbieeducator Rookie

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    Mar 16, 2017

    I hope that you're feeling at least a little bit better and have a better clarity of what you want to do. Your situation is very tough and if everything isn't up to par, teaching will be difficult as well. Feel better soon :/
     
    pinkcupcake90 likes this.
  9. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 24, 2017

    I'll pray for you. I understand! PM me if you need to!
     
    pinkcupcake90 likes this.
  10. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Apr 24, 2017

    I think this poster left the boards. She wasn't getting as much sympathy as she hoped for apparently.
     
  11. pinkcupcake90

    pinkcupcake90 Companion

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    May 12, 2017

    .
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2017
  12. pinkcupcake90

    pinkcupcake90 Companion

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    May 12, 2017

    Thanks for your support. :)
     
  13. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    May 12, 2017

    Last edited: May 12, 2017

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