Parents who blame the teacher...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ms.Holyoke, Dec 18, 2018.

  1. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Dec 20, 2018

    :agreed::yeahthat:
     
  2. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Great advice given already, here are my $.02 (I may be repeating what was said here)
    - yes, on state the facts, no opinion.
    - someone said you should only call in dire situations. I disagree. I had many parents tell me "why wasn't I made aware of this earlier?" and they were right. If i had 2 months of misbehavior that also affected the student's grades, why did I wait to call parent for that long? Yes, I was dreading the phone call, yes, I had other parents to call, the truth is, if I called earlier the parent could have corrected the problem, or at the very least, their little angle couldn't have spoonfed them bs , and now they're brainwashed and anything I say is evil, because I'm evil.
    In fact I only had 1 parent hung up on me, this was after the many phone calls I made, and her son did admit later that she was tired of my phone calls. She was also tired of dealing with her own kid and admitted earlier on that she couldn't never fix the situation, so she just didn't want to hear it again. But frequent phone calls do help.
    - you can also be looked at negatively later on by admin if the situation escalates and they find out you never called the parent.
    - correct the parent if they state untrue things. "no, ma'am, I never yell, I never even raise my voice" maybe you can explain how students often interpret being told to being yelled at, but this will depend on the tone of the parent.
    - you can and always should end all negative conversations with "I was just calling to INFORM you of the situation and hoping you can help modify your son's / daughter's behavior"
     
  3. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    On a plus side, I got to make a positive phone call for a very difficult student today. Mom was very happy!
     
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  4. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Please, let's not carry over the animosity from one thread to the next. There is venting about the need for a break / support, and then there is constant anti-parent / child rhetoric.
     
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  5. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Dec 21, 2018

    Wow. And I'm sure you complied with it all. LOL Dang! What a human. SMH.
     
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  6. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Fanatic

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    One thing that I think helps in lowering (not eliminating) parents accusing teachers is using e-mail instead of calling home. E-mail allows them to have time to process information before reacting by yelling. Also parents seem to be a bit more hesitant to be abusive to a teacher in writing. I also think that it makes it easier for the teacher to make sure that only the facts are given and nothing else. While there will always be that irrational parent who will write awful e-mails to a teacher, I find this is much less common than parents who are irrational and/or abusive over the phone.
     
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  7. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    That's great Mom was very happy. When parents think of disciplining their child they think in terms of "1". When teachers think of disciplining their child they think in terms of 30+. That is, a teacher is in the business of crowd control. It's akin to a wrangler ensuring the herd is walking along at a good pace while, at the same time, galloping after the dogies that stray afar.


    Franklin Habit describes teaching this way:

    Teaching seems to require the sort of skills one would need to pilot a bus full of live chickens backwards, with no brakes, down a rocky road through the Andes while providing colorful and informative commentary on the scenery.
     
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  8. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Dec 22, 2018

    If I have to phone a parent and they come out with a litany of how I have mistreated their child I don't accuse the child of lying but instead say they are being 'economical with the truth'!
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Isn't that basically saying the child is lying and the parent is too stupid to see through the choice in words? Double whammy.
     
  10. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I have emailed some parents but most of mine do not reply to email. Email only works if I call first and ask for email to follow up. I didn't do so with this parent but I could.
     
  11. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Dec 23, 2018

    I think it is a nice way to sugar coat what is happening. And, parents are often too stupid to see through their kids' lies, so a euphemism probably isn't going make anything worse.
     
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  12. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Dec 24, 2018

    Not really. It is saying that the parent has been told only a part of the story.
     
  13. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    ca6b711dc5ab081c747e3ea15b030953.jpg
     
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  14. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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  15. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    WHAT???????????????????????
    So, the parent wanted you to be the parent. Did they ask you to also to start up a savings account for the snowflake's college fund?????
     
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  16. whizkid

    whizkid Comrade

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    That's why they hate school breaks. They want a 24/7 daycare center *cough* *cough* school operation.
     
  17. whizkid

    whizkid Comrade

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    Around this time last year a parent put a child out of her car cussing the child saying "get the hell out". It was in-service and the students didn't come back until the next day and some teachers were hollering this to the parent. Yep, the parent was ready for that break!
     
  18. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Jan 12, 2019

    SMH.
     
  19. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Feb 8, 2019

    I get this at my school too. It is the parent trying to put the blame on you because if it is not your fault or their kids fault then they think people think they are bad parents. Also it is their kiddo, and as a parent you are suppose to protect them . Some are afraid if a consequence is on their kids permanent record it can effect college acceptance. They do not realize by trying to save their kids from consequences they are doing them a great disservice which wont become apparent until the kid gets in real trouble later in life.
     
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