Not getting along with forum culture, apparently

Discussion in 'Forum Announcements & FAQ' started by Kenz501, Mar 4, 2018.

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  1. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Comrade

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    Jul 27, 2018

    I think I'm just staying out of this conversation. I've been baited enough.

    I have taken advice that I felt was relevant to my situation. I guess complaining about how things aren't going my way isn't a good strategy. I accept that.
     
  2. Aces

    Aces Companion

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    Jul 27, 2018

    Well I haven't really read any of your posts (but I've read this thread). That being said it sounds like the common complaint is that it seems like you don't use any of the advice that's offered and then keep saying the same things over and over again. The only person on this planet that can change your situation is you. Not me, not anyone on these forums, not your admin team, not your mentors, etc. It comes down to this and it's incredibly simple: you want change, make it. You don't think you're getting the resources you need, go get em yourself. The only people in life that hands you stuff on a platter is the waitress at a restaurant.
     
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  3. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Enthusiast

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    Jul 27, 2018

    Correct.
     
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  4. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Comrade

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    Jul 27, 2018

    This isn't a new discussion, and I don't think it really applies to me that much now. I started a lot of those posts because I was just feeling sorry for myself and didn't know how to deal with it. I really did feel like the area I was living in offered no support, and I had been given the run-around by so-called professionals. Back then, I was pretty stressed out because I saw no "light at the end of the tunnel. " Things are different now, though. There are resources here, and my complaints have been taken seriously.
     
  5. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Jul 27, 2018

    An honest and insightful summation. It would be nice, sometimes, to be able to lock away those threads that are no longer relevant, and most of us who had been a part of many of your earlier threads have not gone looking for old threads to rehash. Unfortunately, on forums, that information just sits there and waits for one person to dig it up and move it forward months later as if it was just written yesterday. It's why I always tell my students, as I did my son, that one needs to be very careful about what is put out there via computer - in the digital world, it lives forever, waiting to be found.
     
  6. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Enthusiast

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    Jul 27, 2018

    We are empathetic with you and your ailment. That is not in contention. Where we differ, however, is not telling you what you want to hear.

    Each and every time someone responds to your posts, you get defensive and point the finger at someone else or something. You think that jobs should be handed to you on a silver platter — they shouldn’t — and every instruction written out explicitly. That’s not how jobs work. You get instructions, yes, and help intermittently, but YOU are expected to figure it out. YOU are believed to be competent enough to handle issues on your own as the arise. YOU need to become a self-learner and problem solver.

    That is what school is all about: To get students to think critically and analytically, to be able to read and write skillfully, to enable them to communicate effectively and to translate their thoughts and ideas into coherent speech that is easily understood, and to use their unique skill sets to tackle problems in the real world. It isn’t there for them to be coddled and to have their hand held their entire lives through their respective careers.

    This is nothing personal. This is what we ALL have to do in our jobs and YOU are NO exception. You are obviously very intelligent, articulate, and high-functioning, so please stop making excuses. Please stop thinking that you are the exception to the rule or should be the exception to the rule. There are no exceptions.

    We are saying this to be realistic with you. Please stop, actually listen this time, and quit with the pity party. It gets old.
     
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  7. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Enthusiast

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    Jul 27, 2018

    Your previous colleagues were being professionals. You were not.
     
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  8. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Jul 27, 2018

    The reason no one explicitly trains you in the teaching world is because the majority of schools expect a new teacher to have already more or less learned the basics of the craft in college.
     
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  9. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Phenom

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    Jul 27, 2018

    My EX has ASD. Nothing is ever his fault. Ever. People always pick on him. People never help him enough. He is perpetually caught in a cycle of anger and woe-is-me. I watched him alienate everyone who tried to help him. I don’t even know where he is now. He can’t hold a job because nobody ever helps him, he says. When he is offered advise, he refuses to take it because it is not what he wants to do.

    I’m not sure how I dealt with it for as long as I did. I really tried, but it was exhausting. Once he started becoming aggressive, I was done.

    I see him in these posts. I don’t know the answer, but I understand the struggle.
     
  10. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Enthusiast

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    Beautifully explained. Thank you for your input.
     
  11. Aces

    Aces Companion

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    Jul 27, 2018

    So then why dredge up a post from four months ago?
     
  12. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Jul 27, 2018

    Actually, she didn't. Another person commented, which moved a 5 month old post to the recent post column. This didn't happen because of OP's own doing.
     
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  13. Aces

    Aces Companion

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    Jul 27, 2018

    Oh yeah you're right. I must have overlooked that.
     
  14. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Jul 27, 2018

    I would say that this forum is very supportive and I have been very happy here. Don't only read one post by the OP, read at least 5, or more. Pretty much all or at least most threads were about the same issue, a lot of people chimed in, offered advice, tried to get creative, tried to really figure out a way to help the op, but this person had an excuse for everything and no idea sounded usable.
    After a while this gets old. I offered my advice a few times, and that means that I have actually sat there, gave it some thought and effort and then spent some time typing up. And what happened? Nothing, it was dismissed as "can't do" or not even really responded to. So I stopped offering advice and after a while stopped reading the posts because it was always the same thing, neverending.
     
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  15. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Comrade

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    Jul 28, 2018

    Yeah, and when I mentioned "so-called professionals" I wasn't talking about the forums. You can't go to a "career counselor" or get help for "mild autism" if the so-called professionals where you live seem to have no idea what that is or claim there "wasn't funding for that disability," for example, and like I said earlier, it was frustrating, but it doesn't even apply now, so who cares?

    I only replied to this because there was a recent reply to it for some reason.


    Also, the person quoted above was correct. People will drag up whatever they want if they have access to it, regardless of if it's still relevant or not, and, like I said, I'm not interested in continuing this discussion, as it doesn't apply anymore.

    If any of you want to comment on a recent post, go to my most recent thread, the one that states that I've decided to move on. You are welcome to offer any relevant advice over there.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
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